I feel like my heart is being pulled out of my chest. Do you know how that feels?
It feels as if something is deliberately piercing through your chest, and mercilessly squeezing your heart. For a moment, you choke, but you still hold on. You look at the doer in self-pity, as if emptiness is starting to crawl into your being. Then, in less than a heart beat you feel the pull. Artery by artery, they tear away from your soul. That is when you start to scream out of pain that is yet to become permanently engraved in your being. Dead weight suddenly weighs down on you.
Your own dead weight…
You breathe no more. You become trapped within yourself. The emptiness that lays within you echoes with the cold stink of your core. Loneliness seems like paradise compared to this tragedy of dying while still walking among the living.
I forgot to hold on…I forgot to catch my breath while I still had the chance.
Survival was of essence, and I wasn’t able to comply…I wasn’t ready for this. I forgot to stay alive. I forgot how to walk through my own helplessness. I was naïve, and now? All I am is a little bit of ashes roaming around the world unnoticed. I was gone and forgotten.
My heart remained in the cruel hands of my murderer. He watched me fade out of color, and into the eternal life of misery. I was gone. He walked away. I fell to my knees. He closed the door. My tomb was opened.
He stepped into his reality, and I into mine.