I heard the droplets of water drip down, one by one. A time lapse of a second between each.
I didn’t move. I barely breathed…slowly. Calmly. I couldn’t catch up with the pace of the dripping. It was really dark tonight. It seemed like the saddest night. There was no moonlight, no stars… It was just another cold lonely night.
I wasn’t sitting inside. I didn’t feel like sitting inside. The house was too empty. It wasn’t something new. I usually lived alone, with some occasional visits from family members who stayed not longer than two days. Today however, the house seemed too empty, too quiet. I could feel the void that was filled in there. I could almost touch the sadness that lingered inside.
The sound of the dripping sounded almost soothing. How could the sound of dripping ever be so soothing?
Anything but the void inside, and the loudness of the silence was better.
I shook my head. What was going on with me? I was sitting out here, on the stairs leading to my house, in the cold, and I couldn’t get myself to go in.
I knew I was waiting. I was waiting for him to return. Where was he? Why is he still missing? My head swirled around the moments I last saw him. He waved good bye after telling me he’d be seeing me that night, and he turned away and walked the opposite direction.
I remember how gracefully he walked. How his feet barely touched the ground.
Where was he now? Why haven’t I heard anything from anyone yet? There wasn’t even a phone call. I could feel my tears rolling down. I kept waiting, and waiting.
The sound was beginning to get on my nerves now. I couldn’t handle another moment. As I stood up, and begin to run towards the streets calling out for him, a car stopped by.
A man I knew stepped out. It was one of his close friends.
He ran towards me.
I was too far from the house to be hearing the dripping. Why was I still hearing them? “Why am I still hearing them?” I screamed, as the man held me down and walked me back.
“Calm down” He spoke to me calmly, as if he knew what he was doing…As if it wasn’t the first time he was calming someone In my situation.
“Where is he? Why haven’t I heard anything yet?” I kept asking him.
He held me closer to calm me further, while he caressed my hair. “Who?” he asked, with a low and soothing tone, it was almost a whisper.
“Him…” I breathed out the words as if they would break if I spoke any louder.
“oh, honey…” The man next to me said sadly.
“I keep hearing a dripping sound, and it won’t go away. It’s driving me crazy” I spoke out in such frustration, he had to hold me tighter to keep me from bursting out.
“I know…” He said sadly, almost knowingly. What did he know that I didn’t? Was it normal?
“He’s not here, and I can’t go inside. The house…It’s too dark without him…”
“Honey, listen to me well. He’s not coming. You know very well he’s not coming.” He spoke with pain in his voice. I could feel he was trying to hide it from me, but I could feel it.
“Why not? Is there something I need to know?” I asked clueless. I needed to know, or did I know?
With the dripping sound that wouldn’t seem to leave my ears, flashes began to appear.
“The dripping sound has come back to you, just calm down when you remember.”
I was beginning to feel too impatient. My feet were suddenly too light to hold my body, and I began to shake. “Please, just tell me.”
He looked away as he spoke the words. “He’s passed away darling. It’s been Three years. It’s your memory that keeps failing you, especially when you miss him.”
I could feel my tears falling like waterfalls. I was in a shock, but I began to remember how he died, how he was killed in front of my eyes, with a sound of dripping in the corners of the streets.
“He…He’s dead. He’s not coming.” I looked into the man’s eyes that were filled with sorrow, and I remembered that he lived with me now. He was taking care of me in the midst of all this tragedy. I felt guilty for getting those rewind moments, where I could barely remember why he’s around, or times when I could barely seem him.
“It’s alright, you need not worry. I understand. We’ve agreed to this. I’ll take care of you, and I’ll always remain next to you,” He said after he looked into my eyes and knew what I would be thinking.
“I’m sorry” I said anyway.
As he walked me back into the house, I looked back. I could feel his presence. If only it were real. I felt a light breeze rush around me, and I wished, and I hoped, it would be him.